My job as a librarian requires me to have weekly contact with preschool through grade seven. Frankly, as per my penchant for tiny, adorable things, I tend to greatly enjoy my time with the little bitties. Not only do they still sort of have that new baby smell (like new car smell, but nicer), but they're also hilarious without trying to be. I come home almost every day with stories about what the kids have said and my mother has advised me to write them down so I can bask in their amusement at a later date. So, for your entertainment and my reminiscing pleasure, here are some of their finest moments.
During a discussion of a book we read about American symbols:
Me: And who knows who wrote the Star Spangled Banner?
Second Grader: Yoda!
Me: Wait, what?! Why do you think Yoda wrote the National Anthem?
Second Grader: Well, cause it was written before I was born and Yoda lived before I was born.
Me: But lots of people lived before you were born, didnt they? [Notice my inability to tell the child that Yoda has never actually lived].
Second Grader: Yeah, but the title has the word "star" in it and that's where Yoda lived.
Me: No, sweetie, Yoda lived on a planet called Dagobah, not on a star.
Second Grader: I thought Dagobah was a system, not just a planet.
Me: [Stunned silence at the fact that this seven-year-old knows that Dagobah is called "The Dagobah System" by Luke Skywalker, but believes that Yoda wrote the Star Spangled Banner].
Another Second Grader: I thought some guy named Keys wrote it.
Me: Yes! Francis Scott Key wrote it during the War of 1812.
Yet Another Second Grader: Is he related to Alicia Keys?
Me: No, I don't think so. Moving on....
Kindergartners on their second trip to the library:
Girl: Miss Allison, I don't have my book cause my mommy forgot to put it in my backpack.
Me: Oh, that's--
Boy: It's not mommy's job, it's your job. Is mommy gonna put your homework in your backpack when you get to college? Nooooo.
Me: [under my breath] Oh snap! [out loud] Well, no, she isn't going to help you when you get to college, but y'all are in Kindergarten, so it's okay if mommy helps.
To the preschoolers:
Me: Okay, everybody sit on your bottoms and open your ears.
Girl: Miss Allison, you can say "butts" if you want. We won't laugh. We're mature.
